the future.

when you think about the future, you get to dream. thinking about where you will be, what you will be doing, who you will be doing it with…

that last one is the one that gets me every time. it’s the only one that remains the same. the job may change, the location may change, but the only thing that doesn’t change, the one thing that is there each and every time, is the one thing i seemingly can’t have – her. now i really am fine with just being friends, but still each time i picture my future, she is there.

i thought i was completely past this…

church and community

something that has been on my mind lately:

church is not the building.  church is not the service.  church is not the music. church is not the message.  church is the people, a community of believers.  the others are ways to help grow, provide fellowship, but not church itself.

i guess that is the primary thing i’m searching for in a “church”, and the primary reason i’m trying to find somewhere else.  i just feel the church i’ve been at for so long now is lacking in one thing.  it feels as though there is nothing for me there, outside of the service.  there seems to be no community of believers i can relate to.

i’m also looking for something i can be involved in.  i’ve tried some, and i have just felt like an outsider, unaccepted, uninvolved. i have felt like i was just there observing, but not invited in. 

as always, i welcome your thoughts and comments

forgiveness.

i am struggling with this issue recently.  my problem is how do you balance God’s command to love, forgive and turn the other cheek with not allowing someone to walk all over you or take advantage of your forgiveness, either in a physical or emotional sense?  please let me know what you think…

friends.

friends?  what exactly does it mean to be friends?  does it mean that you talk occassionally, hang out and do things with each other?  yes, but truly being friends is so much more than that.  there has to be something else behind a friendship other than you thinking someone is cool or fun.  friendships with that as the basis will quickly fall apart.  so again, what exactly does it mean to be a friend?   

i think we in general have lost the true meaning of ”friend.”  say you had to move tomorrow, a last minute kind of thing – how many people that you call “friends” would be there at 7 in the morning to help you out?  that’s what i thought.

being someone’s friend used to mean something.  the term “friend” comes from words used to describe love.  that is why a true friend will care about you, how you are doing, the things going on in your life, and will be there to help you when you need it the most.  a friend will give you encouragement or a shoulder to cry on when you are down, and will be excited for you when you are up.  and if something comes between two friends?  they may be angry with each other, but they try and talk things out (at least eventually) because ultimately they care about each other, they love each other.

let me leave you with a question – how good of a friend have you been with those you care about?  i know this much – i have not been a good friend far too often.